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Domesticated, Not Demasculinized

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Blogging, married, father of two looking for men for meaningful blogging relationship (Politicians please do not apply)

Posted by doatmon on August 24, 2009

I know, I know…the kayak story.  It is forthcoming, I promise.  And yet, after all this build-up I can’t help but feel that the story is going to “sink” under the pressure.

[Kids, we call that foreshadowing…lame foreshadowing and poor pun usage, but foreshadowing nonetheless]

Part of the beauty and part of the pain of a blogger is having all these things to write about and yet constantly being bombarded by NEW things so the others get pushed to the “parking lot” as my former corporate colleagues were so fond of saying.

In this instance, I am postponing the kayak story yet again to address the recent bombardment of inescapable evidence that “daddy bloggers” are either as rare as unicorns or facing a glass ceiling of epic proportions.  Just ask the Columbus Dispatch, Columbus Monthly and every search engine from Google to Dogpile.

My decision to toss away a developing (and well-established) career to stay home with Chicken Nugget and French Fry was sure to raise more than a few eyebrows, but I felt confident that through networking, blogging and various sites ending in XXX I would be able to meet and correspond with other fathers who either made the same decision or find themselves in a similar situation through events not of their choosing.

As of yet, I haven’t met a single one.  And trust me, it’s not for a lack of looking.  Especially on certain sites.  All I can seem to find are women on those bastions of literary and artistic excellence.  I just don’t get it.

Porn jokes aside, all I HAVE found are women.  As an unabashed flirt with mediocre looks and a body built by Skyline, neither the female dominance nor using the faceless internet as a medium are bad things necessarily.  And yet, in the spirit of the ever-eloquent “bro’s before hoes” sometimes a little testosterone is a good thing.

I recently read an article in Columbus Monthly on local parent bloggers written by enjoyable and prominent Ohio blogger Susie J. Not a single mention of daddy bloggers.  I contacted her through her blog and she said she intended to include men in her article, but editors gave “us” the old cutting-room floor treatment.   Today (August 24), the venerable Columbus Dispatch, which has admittedly written checks to several members of my family for various journalistic endeavors, published an article by Amy Saunders on…what else…mommy bloggers.

In both articles, the behemoth known as BlogHer is referenced along with iVillage, Ms Single Mama, and other mainstays of female blog-dom.  Sadly, to the best of my ability, in the 7.5 minutes I’ve spent on it, I cannot find a single “male” example of similar networks, sites or people.  The few daddy blogs that are out there are infrequently updated and scattered more than men in a JoAnn Fabric.

The question is “why?” Are there not enough men who consider being a daddy to be blog-worthy?  Are they so focused on the letter “x” or various forms of fantasy football that it’s all they can blog about/add to the blog-readers?  Are men willing and interested in reading blogs written by women, but women can’t see themselves getting anything other than disgusted and angry over a blog written by a daddy?  And what about these companies giving mommy bloggers cars, cameras and ad revenue?  As a former marketing/public relations professional, I am well-aware of the old-adage that women control the purchasing.  But isn’t that changing?  Why is it that we’re so hell-bent on proving some long-held beliefs of gender stereotypes, but others remain so entrenched that nobody even notices their existence anymore?

And more importantly, how many non-sentence questions can you string together before people quit reading?  Am I there yet?  How ‘bout now?

I recently read a piece on Jessica Knows (written by a woman of course) questioning whether 2010 will be the year of the daddy blogger.  I agree with many of her assertions and they mimic those I have relayed to others as I embarked on my OWN journey.  Specifically, I think the allure of a “daddy blog” is that it’s likely both men AND women would read it.  But I follow that up with, would it be so bad if ONLY women read it?  Apparently that’s still the target audience.  And if there were good daddy blogs, I am confident they would read.

In the mean time, I will continue to write in obscurity, waving the flag for men who aren’t ashamed to be fathers and husbands and searching the internet for men in places other than  As a public service to both my readers, I will let you know that I started at the simple, five-letter version of that URL and let’s just say I had no trouble finding men there.

While they didn’t seem to have much interest in my blog, even THEY read Ms Single Mama.


7 Responses to “Blogging, married, father of two looking for men for meaningful blogging relationship (Politicians please do not apply)”

  1. What was that you were man-whining about? You lost me when you said something about mom bloggers cashing in…. A car would be nice.
    I like reading about your “attempts” at stay at I see quite a few dads in my neighborhood with the kiddos. I assume they are SAHDs. However, I haven’t reached out to any of them. Not because they are daddies because I am not that sociable and don’t even know any mommies in the hood. 😉 You should start your own site!

  2. PJ Mullen said

    Hey man, saw your comment on JessicaKnow’s post about us dad bloggers and thought I’d drop in. Fellow SAHD here, dig the site. It has definitely been an interesting ride these past ten months since I launched my blog, but things are starting to move forward with brands figuring out that us dads aren’t all Homer Simpsons. Sony recently launched the DigiDads project and they’ve teamed up with some prominent bloggers who also happen to be dads. You can search the hashtag #sonydads to find some of them and their posts.

    Also, I don’t know if you’ve been over to Dad Blogs ( It’s a great site for dads (and some cool moms). Friday is fatherhood friday and we post about our lives as parents and whatnot. There are a ton of columnists over there too, I’m one of the music guys.

    Hope to see you around the blogosphere.

  3. […] opened myself up to critique by commenting on the “mommy blog” phenomenon in yesterday’s post and as a result started getting critiqued in […]

  4. Phaedra said

    If it helps you a little bit, Bod and I have discussed various options for child care, when we start having kids. And he’s going to be the one that stays home. Your decision really wasn’t “shocking” to us.

    I wonder if the lack of SAHD blogs is simply a matter of percentages. Of the SAHMs, what’s the percentage that blog? There are fewer SAHDs and if the percentage that blogs is the same as SAHMs, it’s probably tiny.

    I wonder if another reason may just be the way male and female brains are wired. Women tend to be more of communicators than men and blogging for moms seems to be a natural extension of that. Women’s blogs tend to be more personal, more about their lives, than guys, who seem to mostly focus on a specific topic. It could be that guys, who aren’t as wired to reach to the community for help, simply aren’t blogging for the same reasons as women.

    I think it’s awesome what you’re doing and that you’re sharing.

  5. I stumbled across your blog through “The Other Paper” article that was posted on facebook by Dad of Divas…

    I too am a father blogger – and have had tons of fun, and met some really great guys through my blog!! Some of them are also SAHD’s… Not me though… Not so lucky… I get to slave away for “the man” at the expense of my family… But, it does bring home a livable wage… So I can’t really complain.

    Swing by The Life of a Father of Five Blog.. On my sidebar you will find a link to quite a number of great Dad blogs, and a few mom’s too!

    I’m looking forward to perusing your blog, and to future posts!

    – Father of Five

  6. lukasbrandon said

    I’m over at DaddyDispatch.Com, keep the faith, fellow Dad blogger!

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