Dad of All Trades, Master of None

Domesticated, Not Demasculinized

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The power of ignorance must be about 1300 cc’s

Posted by doatmon on June 13, 2006

As the neglected husband of a rabid Steeler fan, I completely ignored the dismal US showing at the World Cup (if we dont even call the sport the same thing as the rest of the world, can we really be competitive?) and focused on nothing but the story of Super Bowl winning quarterback Ben Roethlisberger doing his best mosquito impression and splattering himself all over a windshield.

I feel very little remorse for Big Ben. He knew the risks of what he was doing. He was lectured by the chisel-chinned Bill Cowher, interviewed by countless media outlets following the former Miami Hurri-convict Kellen Winslow’s motorcycle accident and even derided by football’s Terry Bradshaw. No to mention, regardless of the law (or lack thereof) in Pennsylvania, not wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle is just plain stupid. He said he doesnt wear one because it feels free. Not wearing underwear. That feels free. And slightly drafty. Not wearing a helmet feels like pulling 2,025 pieces of gravel out of a 9-inch gash in the back of your head. I’ll take drafty.

Regardless, none of this is what drove me to waste my time (and yours) writing about this incident. Nope. The subject of this drivel is the boundless ignorance of some motorcycle riders. I will admit right now I do not ride motorcycles. I have never even been astride one. I am sure they are fun. Im sure they offer a sense of rebellion, a sense of freedom. All I can remember is everyone I know in the medical profession showing me pictures of the aftermath of motorcycle accidents. I will admit. I’m biased.

But what I’ve heard from friends, from people on the radio from strangers in Krispy Kreme (fat guy on little bike) is that this incident shouldn’t have anything to do with the debate on motorcycles or helmets. No, apparently the problem is just that No. 7 for the Steelers should stick to throwing rockets, not riding them. No, the problem is not that motorcycles are harbringers of death and dismemberment. No, the problem is not that if he had been wearing a helmet he would have a few bruised knees and a sore noggin. EVERYONE else that rides motorcycles would have avoided that accident…or so I’ve heard.

Some people just arent meant to ride motorcycles.

I just would have done the high-speed swerve on the s-curve..blah blah

I think golfers should be more careful swinging clubs in lightning…thats more dangerous than riding motorcycles.

Right. That’s it. I am completely in favor of someone’s right to ride a motorcycle. I feel that helmets should be utilized to protect those brains not smart enough to know they need protected (thank you Jerry Seinfeld) but I think everyone has the right to kill themselves (thank you Charles Darwin). But please don’t display such ignorance and denial to imply that its perfectly safe to ride motorcycles and ride without helmets. It’s not.

Ben Roethlisberger is not the only human being alive that can’t ride a motorcycle. No…you wouldn’t have been more careful. No you wouldn’t have been able to avoid the accident. You can’t control what other people do. You can’t control the women putting on make-up, the men checking their blackberry or the 62-year-old women in a hurry to get to Hoss’ lunch buffet.

Go ahead and throttle up the bikes, but PLEASE throttle down the ignorance. Be careful. But perhaps more importantly, for the love of everything holy, stop wearing leather vests sans shirt. Yuck.


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